Twelve Days, Twelve Nights...

...that's how long I was in the hospital, sleeping next to Katie on a chair that folded down into a bed, waiting for the day the doctor would tell us that our boys can finally come home.

Let me back up. For the first three days of our hospital stay, Declan and Ethan looked healthy and fine. Each time the doctor came in, we were told they are doing okay. However, by night 3, the nurses told us that they simply were not eating enough. This led to their loss of weight (most babies lose up to 10% of their birth weight before gaining it all back, but our boys lost more than that. Ethan was 6 lb. 4 oz. at birth but dropped to about 5 lb. 7 oz. Declan dropped from 6 lb. 2 oz. to about 5 lb. 8 oz.). It also came with some minor jaundice, heart murmurs for Ethan, and respiratory desaturations for Declan. Eventually they were taken from our room into the special care nursery (SCN) across the hall, placed into incubators, and after another night of poor eating were given an NG (Nasogastric) tube so that they could put food directly into their stomachs.

So we waited...and waited...and waited. After about a week in the hospital, we were going mad. It felt like we were prisoners, locked from the outside world in a small room with only our beds, a bathroom, and TV. Each day we were told it would only be a few more days, but the boys would show promise, and then suddenly decline. So we waited some more.

In the span of those 12 straight days/nights in the hospital, Katie came home only once for a brief nap. I came home a few times towards the end for sanity purposes. But finally, after 12 days, I decided I needed to go back to work (working from home) in order to save some vacation time for when the boys actually do come home. Day 13, 14, 15, and 16 went by quickly for me since I was home most of the day. However, Katie, being the strong mother and trooper that she is, continued to stay at the hospital--only leaving twice for Enosh's (my nephew's) first birthday party and Kristian's (my brother-in-law's) 19th birthday party.

Katie may remember it as the 16-17 days in the hospital (we’re assuming they can come home today or tomorrow). I will always remember it as the 12 days. And in the midst of those 12 days, I produced a ton of complaints, frustrations, sadness, and disappointments. The room is cramping me, the bed is hurting my back, there's no ESPN despite having all the other cable channels, hospital food is gross, the nurses keep telling us different things, why did we take the babies out so soon when Katie was still feeling fine in her pregnancy, why didn't anyone tell us they were not getting enough food, why haven’t certain friends visited us, why won’t the boys eat, people/nurses keep entering our room right when we’re about to fall asleep, are we not praying correctly, and of course…I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

However, it is so good to have a Creator and Savior who knows exactly how we feel and hears every cry. Although in the midst of the struggle, I simply forgot that God ALWAYS has our best in mind, He never gave up on me. Because the truth of the matter is that in the middle of the turmoil, all we often see is the bad. But in reality, this entire experience has been nothing but good! The room was the biggest room on the floor, we were able to stay in that room the entire time despite being discharged by day 4, hospital food was free for the first 4 days, the nurses gave us a lot of advice and taught us so much, they took of care of Katie and the boys endlessly without a complaint, at least we had TV (and a DVD and an iPod docking station and books to read), at least the chair folded into a bed, more complications could have arose if the babies were not taken out when they were, the feeding tube is working and helping, we have so much family and friends who love us, at LEAST two family members each day would show up (and others would frequently check-in via email or phone), friends gathered to provide us meals for three straight weeks, Katie and I got to rest during the nights while the nurses took care of the boys, and now the boys get to come home as strong and healthy as can be.

Funny, isn’t it, how we often don’t see the light until we’ve climbed out of the valley. I’m thankful that we have a God who cares about every little detail in our lives and who loves us so much that He has the BEST possible course set before us. I’m thankful for those 12 days and nights in the hospital because I learned so much about the boys. We learned their competitive natures (Declan, although smaller at birth, has now become heavier than Ethan; Ethan passed the carseat test before Declan), we learned how to give them baths, we got to see them laugh and smile so much (and each time it melted my heart), we learned how to check their temperatures and how to change diapers and how to swaddle. We got to soak up every minute with them, never taking a single minute for granted because after feeding time, we had to return to our room without them. We had enough time at the hospital to figure out how to get them on the same schedule as well as reduce our feeding times by half. I got to experience, for the first time, someone (Ethan) throwing up on me (it’s really not as bad as I thought). And, oh man, just getting to hold them and rock them to sleep has become my new favorite thing on earth.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity and experience you have blessed us with during those 12 days and more. Thank you for removing the devil’s lies and making us see it the way You do. Thank you for the major support from family, friends, and nurses alike. Thank you for the valleys and mountains, in which we will rejoice always.

A Father's Love

I never knew I could fall in love with something so quickly. I love Katie more than anything in this world, but it certainly didn't happen instantly. We had several dates, many talks (both serious and laid-back), and a lot of time to figure each other out. It was on a missions trip to India where I got to see Katie's full heart, her love Christ and her love for children, and her positive and strong attitude until I finally said, "I'm in love with this woman!"

However, it took just a split second for me to fall in love with my boys. Without saying a word, I was hooked (and Katie would agree). From the first look and first cries, I knew that these boys would be something I'd love for the rest of my life. And the amazing part of it all is how much I love this family more and more each day. Each time my heart gets to its full capacity of love, I feel like I could explode. But something wonderful happens after that--I love some more. How can this be if I've already reached full capacity? It's because my family *enlarges* my heart and it continues to be filled with more love each day. I can't imagine how I will feel by my 3rd anniversary with Katie or the boys' 1st birthday. Just thinking about in the future puts a smile to my face.

Declan James

Ethan Emery

Declan and Ethan already show their mother's strength. They are fighters. They have lost a lot of weight since birth (more so than average), have had low blood sugar counts at some point, have had heart murmurs at some point, have had to deal with a lot of noise from visitors, had to learn how to breastfeed, had to learn how to finger feed and syringe feed, had to overcome low temperatures, had to endure a draft in the room for four nights, and more. Yet they keep fighting. Ethan has spent so much time fighting, that he may need to stay an extra night just to build his strength back up and get more calories in them. But already I have gotten that sense of fatherly pride--that "Atta boy" which my dad would (and still does) give me.

Already we have seen their personalities. We have seen their different facial features. We have had them grab our fingers and noses. We have had them stare into our eyes for 30 minutes at times. It is so precious it melts my heart. I love their cries, their yawns, their silly faces, their look when sucking a pacifier. I love my boys already, and they haven't said a real word to me, we haven't gone out anywhere, nor have we even left this hospital room yet.

How can I love something so much without having any words exchanged between us? Well all the mothers and fathers before me know...and I finally do, too.

The Perfect "Son" Set

Greg from work told me a joke once: What do you call a pair of twin boys? Answer: A "son" set. I loved that. And yesterday morning at 9:42am, I saw the perfect "son" set.

Katie and I headed to Swedish/Edmonds Hospital around 7:30am. We got Katie all prepped and ready to go as both our parents were standing by. In addition were our siblings and cousins. A semi-small crowd considering the size of our families, but only because it was during work hours. We knew the onslaught was coming. :)

At around 9:10am, Katie was in the operating room as Kris and I stayed outside the doors waiting for the anesthesiologist (Dr. Miller) to numb Katie. When she was all set, Kris and I entered the room (along with my mom the nurse, who was already in the room--my mom works on the delivery room floor). The moment had come. We greeted Dr. Catherine Rogers, our primary delivery doctor who has been amazing for the past 9 months. In addition was the doctor's assistant, Dr. Dickey. Also in the room was our nurse for the day, Amber, along with a nurse passing out the equipment. And finally, our new pediatrician Dr. Joe Skariah was also in the room.

Dr. Rogers started the incision, and we were ready to go. Katie was a trooper the whole way. All smiles and excitement. Finally, at 9:41am, Baby A entered the world. Katie and I were in complete tears as my mom took pictures and Kris videotaped. They took him away and prepared for Baby B. Baby B came at 9:42am. Again, all tears! Both babies were crying in harmony. They did all the diagnostics, and both babies were wonderful. Baby A was 6 lb. 2 oz. and 20" long. Baby B was 6 lb. 4 oz. and 19" long. Everyone was amazed how well Katie carried 12 1/2 pounds in her womb and never once was put on bed rest. In fact, she was cleaning the house the night before. What an amazing woman I married!

I then got to hold my children for the first time. I first held Declan as he was all dressed and ready. :) Then the nurse handed me Ethan as well as I got to hold both babies at once. I brought them over to Katie as we just soaked up the miracles that Jesus brought us. Then the new grandmothers got to hold them and enjoy (my mom's 3rd and 4th grandchildren, and Kris' 1st and 2nd).

After Katie was all stitched up, they wheeled her down the hall to our room, but not before we ran into our wonderful family who was full of excitement, joy, tears, and happiness. As we got to our room, we talked with the doctor and nurses. In the background was hanging a big sign that Kris had made and that we hung up earlier in the day which simply said: "Hanchinamunchkins". In addition, the night before, Kris and Katie made party favors and got "champagne" (sparkling cider) glass for all the nurses and family there. I know, they would! :) A perfect touch. We called our moms back in with the nurses/doctors as Katie tried to breastfeed for the first time. And it was then that we FINALLY announced the names to everyone's pleasure.

And the moment came finally when we let our family and friends in and announced the names. We gave the name for Baby A (the first baby out), Declan James Hanchinamani. Declan means full of goodness. James is a follower of Christ. Our Bible verse for him is James 3:17-18. We gave the name for Baby B, Ethan Emery Hanchinamani. Ethan means strong and firm. Emery means brave and powerful. Emery is also a family name (Kris' maiden name, Grandpa Marion's middle name, and my brother-in-law, Kristian's, middle name). The name Ethan appears in the Bible 8 times. He authored Psalm 89. Psalm 89: 1-2 happens to be our verse for him.

A few things I will never forget as being a father for the first time:
1. Seeing both my boys for the very first time
2. HEARING both my boys for the very first time
3. Ethan grabbing and holding onto my finger
4. Both boys crying and then instantly stopping when they heard my voice
5. Changing Declan's diaper for the first time
6. Swaddling both for the first time

I will also never forget how strong and wonderful my wife was. Katie is full of strength. Her love for our children is fun to watch. As they try and learn to breastfeed, it's amazing to see that bond. Something I will never forget either.

And without further adieu, pictures of our first day can be seen on my Facebook page in the album entitled "Declan and Ethan - Day 1." Enjoy.